Eight outfits.
You read that right.
Eight different outfits before selecting the one I ended up wearing.
I’m not normally this indecisive.
But I had a meeting yesterday. My first real meeting since stepping off the career track. And I was so anxious that I could NOT decide what to wear.
Crazy, no?
So distracted was I that I missed the turn-off for daycamp. Which would not have been such a big deal back home. But here in the rolling hills of the Lehigh Valley, it meant going MILES out of my way. As in four miles to the next exit…and then, theoretically, back four miles to catch the missed turn-off. Except by then I was so fertumelt that I missed the turn-off AGAIN and had to turn around — again.
Anxious much?
Did I mention the meeting was in the City? And that I ended up missing the bus that would get me to my meeting in plenty of time?
So I took a later bus, sent word that our 12:00noon meeting would be starting when I arrived, sat back, and breathed. Arrived at Port Authority, walked through the labyrinth-like tunnels to Times Square to catch the 7 train, and sank into my seat just in time to catch the announcement regarding the train delay. “No problem,” I thought, “I’ll just run back up two flights and grab the shuttle to Grand Central.”
Did I mention I was wearing a pair of kick-a$$ rabbi heels?
And then…suddenly…I arrived.
The Central Conference of American Rabbis. The rabbinic arm of the trifecta of Reform Judaism. I had been called to the Mother Ship in my capacity as the editor of the newsletter — a periodical that reaches over two thousand member colleagues. For one of those “all hands on deck” meetings.
Emerging into the sunlight nearly four hours later, my head was whirling with ideas. All remnants of the earlier nerves were long gone, replaced by a disbelief of the energetic and passionate dialogue in which I was blessed to have a voice.
Is this what it is like when we step off the career-track with a one-way ticket to Mommyland? Nerves and anxiety each time we temporarily enter our prior life?
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Eight outfits? My daughter seems to have the same affliction. Don’t know why, but she can’t seem to pick one, she has to pick many.
The question is, “did you enjoy your time at the mothership?”
It was wonderful. Some fantastic collaboration. And some exciting changes regarding how we communicate with our members.
Glad you made it and all was well!
Some of us like to think that the Mother Ship of the Reform Movement is 633 Third Avenue — just around the corner and down the block from where you were! ๐
Yeah. I used to think that too.
I know public transportation is probably a million times better there than it is here but if it were me, the “nerves and anxiety” would be less about “entering your prior life” and more about simply getting to your destination! A bus, a train, AND “kick-a** rabbi heels?” No WONDER you were nervous!! ๐
You forget that I lived in the city during rabbinical school. I learned how to navigate the awesome public transpo system in all shoe heights.
Ahhh, yes… I DID forget about rabbinical school! ๐
First times always breed anxiety. Next time will be much easier.
On another note, do you think they were impressed by your heels? (I’m almost 6′ tall so I always wonder about that ;*)
I have no idea. But I felt amazing!
I thought I was the only one who could not figure out what to wear. I am exhausted by the time I walk out my front door.
I know, right? I was so hot and sweaty by the time I decided on the outfit that I was ready to shower and go right back to bed.